


Shame

by meakashi



Category: Higurashi no Naku Koro ni | Higurashi When They Cry
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Forbidden Love, Gen, Introspection, Meakashi-hen (Higurashi no Naku Koro ni), meakashi spoilers, mentions of murder n torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28165803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meakashi/pseuds/meakashi
Summary: She had no right to love someone like him. She couldn’t imagine what an afterlife would be like, but one thing was certain - she wouldn’t meet Satoshi there.
Relationships: Houjou Satoshi/Sonozaki Shion
Kudos: 8





	Shame

She had no right to fall for someone like him. 

Not because she was a Sonozaki, and he was a Houjo. That didn’t mean jack shit to her. Oyashiro, Hinamizawa, the Sonozaki family - none of that mattered at the core of it. It no longer mattered whether she was Mion or Shion. She was a demon. The demon has always been a part of her, and it didn’t only awake this time - it took over. She and the demon became one, and her actions further proved that. Either way, from the very start, her very existence was a curse. She could call herself lucky to even be alive, not meeting the predesignated fate of an early death. She was sent far away, and she escaped, only to rely on others to stay afloat.

She was living, it was ideal compared to previous circumstances, but when he came in the picture, it was bliss. That stupid boy who’s head was in the clouds, that visibly weak and slow boy who went out of his way to defend the weak with such little chances of winning. She knew she was smarter than him, for better or worse. She could lie and feel nothing, she could manipulate a situation and since she was born to be cast away, she was naturally clever and sneaky. She wasn’t like the proper model student Saint Lucia required - no, she was rebellious. She went against the norms, she broke the rules. She would bunch up her skirt to make it shorter and tuck in her uniform, leaving it skillfully unbuttoned. Satoshi could never be what she was if he tried. He was too doltish to tell a lie, and often missed obvious details - but the way he cared, his warm smile, the way he would pat her head to show her how proud he was… she was in deep.

He was so pure, so  _ good,  _ and god, if he hadn’t have done that, if he didn’t defend her that day, and pat her head and smile like that, she would’ve been fine. It wouldn’t have hurt when he rejected her later, cursed her, her godforsaken family and their practices that she loathed so much.

None of it was fair.

It wasn’t fair that Satoko could cry, and drain all his energy away knowing she could count on him to be her savior. It wasn’t fair that she was blamed for the actions of her family. It wasn’t fair that when Mion loved someone, she wasn’t persecuted for it. It’s not fair that she doesn’t care either way, when she can easily try to empathize with her sister - no, because family traditions mattered more.

Shion was a mess. She’d scribble his name in all her notes, he’d always be in her thoughts, he was the driving force, the motivation to try when everything and everyone was stacked against her.

When the demon took over, she misunderstood her intentions. Maybe those were her intentions all along - to get back at the rotten world that erased him without a care. There was no Oyashiro-sama. There was no deity. The true evil lied in the people around them, the rule that allowed anyone to get away with a murder on Watanagashi.

She took everyone down - all the forces that made such an awful thing possible. She executed the rituals they had taken a sick pride in herself, turning the stables, the stage now on them. Everyone was the enemy. She’d take as many people down as she could.

She was a demon, after all.

She remembers the true nature of her identity. She should’ve been Mion, she was going to be Mion, but a switch that seemed fun and harmless at the time branded Shion with the demon. She had the demon on her back, while Shion? Mion? Had it running through the blood in her veins. 

Revenge. That’s right, she was getting revenge for what they did to him. She refused to be erased without a fight.

She recalled Satoko’s act of bravery in her final moments. It enraged her because she knew that if Satoshi was watching, he’d be proud of Satoko. He’d be proud of how much she’s grown, how much stronger she’s gotten - while Shion has let the demon take over. He wouldn’t be happy. He wouldn’t pat her head and congratulate her for avenging him.

After all, she recalled his last wish, the last thing he said to her before he disappeared : “I leave Satoko to you.”

Satoko was dead. So was Onibaba, old man Kimiyoshi, and Rika - she was just another victim, and a satisfying one at that. She finally got to say everything she wanted to say to her and do what the darkest part of her brain desired - to kill. 

She can’t justify this. This isn’t revenge. At this point, Satoshi would never take her back. She wondered how long into the process she realized that before accepting it. He’d be horrified, betrayed, hurt - and unlike her silly fantasies, Shion couldn’t be his savior. She couldn’t be the helping hand that reaches out and pulls him out of his grief. She would play the role of the villain, the evil monster who ruined his life and took away everyone he loved.

This wasn’t righteous, this wasn’t to avenge Satoshi - this was to avenge herself, and everything that happened to her. If she had to suffer, so will they. She knew she was far past return, and she would give everything she could to drag everyone down into the pits of hell with her.

She had no right to love someone like him. She couldn’t imagine what an afterlife would be like, but one thing was certain - she wouldn’t meet Satoshi there.


End file.
